Salad Days: Take a Leaf out of these Stock Photos’ Books and Grab Some Salad, You’ll Seemingly Have the Time of Your Life

Salad Days: Take a Leaf out of these Stock Photos' Books and Grab Some Salad, You'll Seemingly Have the Time of Your Life

Apparently salad knows all the best jokes… at least according to stock photo sites that for some weird reason portray women as overly excited about hanging out with salad while alone at home.

Woman laughing with Salad
One of the issues with making salad is bland lettuce. It’s a problem that needs addressing
Woman laughing with Salad
I bought a Greek salad the other week. Well, he was down on his luck…
Woman laughing with Salad
After waiting an hour for my starter I complained “It’s not rocket salad”.
Woman laughing with Salad
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Woman laughing with Salad
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his ear. The doctor looks at it and says “that’s just the tip of the iceberg”.
Woman laughing with Salad
Stayed up last night making a rotisserie chicken and a salad to go with it. Spent the whole night tossing and turning.
Woman laughing with Salad
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Woman laughing with Salad
Some of my salad garnish was singing Jailhouse Rock the other day. Think it was Elvis Parsley.
Woman laughing with Salad
What’s small, white and laughs a lot in salads? A tickled onion.
Woman laughing with Salad
Walked into a business meeting the other week, put a kebab on the desk and said “we really have to think about strategy”. One of my colleagues asked “what’s with the kebab?” I said “salad and a little chilli sauce”.
Woman laughing with Salad
I used to think Elton John’s favourite lettuce was Iceberg. Then I realised that he’s more of a rocket man.
Woman laughing with Salad
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?Chicken Caesar salad
Woman laughing with Salad
Why did the salad win an award? It went above and beyond the kale of duty
Woman laughing with Salad
Why didn’t the root vegetable take the job? The Celery was Too Low
Woman laughing with Salad
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad? Lettuce Think about it
Woman laughing with Salad
What prompted the last massive veggie protest? Privileged information was leeked.
Woman laughing with Salad
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe. He dropped the beet
Woman laughing with Salad
What do veggies say on their birthday?Lettuce celebrate!
Woman laughing with Salad
Why was the teenage veggie so snarky? She didn’t carrot all.
Woman laughing with Salad
What does a vegetable in love tell his date? Let’s not beet around the bush.
Woman laughing with Salad
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn? The kind with extra melon in.

News from Sad and Useless

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