It doesn’t matter where you’re taking a holiday. It could be in the countryside. It could be on a beach. It could be at a ski resort, deep in a jungle or in the middle of a desert. If there is at least one site that tourists flock to, you can be certain that there will be a metal rack with postcards on it somewhere.
And when you’re on a holiday, you will undoubtedly see these postcard racks and think about people back home. Something inside you urges you forward. Maybe it’s the ridiculously low price of the cards. Maybe it’s the fact that you know that they know that you saw postcards and you worry about being judged if you don’t send them. Who knows what goes on in the subconscious mind at the sight of postcards!
Whatever triggers the behaviour, the end result is just the same. You buy postcards. You fill out said postcards, and then you mail them. Congratulations! You have officially wasted your time.
Postcards are awful. No one likes getting them for a number of reasons:
1. Postcards Lie.
“Wish you were here!” “Missing You” Lies. All of it, lies. Look, we know you don’t wish we were there and you really don’t miss us. If you wished we were there, you would have invited us along, you selfish bastard. And if you missed us, you’d call on the phone, not send this ridiculous piece of flimsy cardboard. We know it’s a guilt purchase. Stop lying.
2. Postcards Remind Us Home Is Rubbish.
Nothing like getting a postcard of a sunny beach when it’s freezing cold and raining and the smog is so thick you’re choking. Thanks a lot for rubbing it in, Arse.
3. Postcards Are Grossly Inaccurate.
Oh, you saw green fields in Scotland in December? Got to be the only bugger on the street looking up at the Eiffel Tower? Hung from the sky to get an aerial view of the Pyramids of Egypt did you? No? Oh, those are just photos that sort of represent the things you saw. Thought not.
4. Postcards Take Forever to Arrive.
By the time we get the postcard in our letterbox, you’re back. You’ve already told us all of the anecdotes about your trip that you think are amusing but really, truly aren’t. You’ve also already shown us your crappy selfies of everything you saw, which makes the stunning postcard photography a little more ridiculous.
So let’s all try to stop this madness, shall we? When we’re off on our next holidays, let’s just look at the postcard racks, say, “NO THANK YOU!” and go and buy some other worthless junk to take home to the people we didn’t love enough to bring with us. Maybe a decorative thimble…or a metal spoon with a picture printed on the handle. Anything’s better than a postcard!
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