Lockdown has deprived all of us of so much: friends, pubs, holidays… anything outside of our bloody houses.
But when Little Mix star Jade Thirlwall and her housemates decided to decorate pies with what they’re missing, the 27-year-old decided to put a penis on hers.
Speaking with Scott Mills and Chris Stark on Radio 1, the singer said she had been passing time in quarantine cooking pies.
She said: “I love cooking a pie. It’s ’cause it’s dead easy, I just buy the ready to roll.”
How perfectly wholesome.
The hosts then revealed they had got wind of her ‘penis pie’ and complimented her pastry phallus making.
She replied: “Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. I’m here alone in the flat with two friends and we all decided to put what we were missing on the pie.”
Well fair dos, it’s much more difficult to depict outdoor spaces and social interactions with left over pastry, I suppose. Indeed, I am sure there are many of us out there who have topped a pie with a penis – though probably due to immaturity, rather than a lack of the real thing.
Asked on Capital Breakfast whether she would try virtual dating, Jade replied: “Well I guess so yeah. I’d give it a go, why not?”
However, it seems finding a man is not top of her to-do list.
Speaking about the year ahead, she said: “I’m looking forward to showing the world more of the things that I’m passionate about. Me and the girls have got some really exciting projects coming up.
“Maybe I’ll find a man by then but either way I’m not a***d.”
After all, who needs a man when you can make a perfectly good and much tastier penis out of pastry?
News sourced from: LadBible