When Compromise Is A Dirty Word: Woman Documents Husband’s Abuse

It’s not often people think of compromise being a dirty word.  But in the case of a physically abusive relationship, there are no discussing things out.  It’s not the time to compromise, it’s time to get out.

Woman abuse victim

A woman is sharing her story of abuse at the hands of her then-husband, Adam, on the social photo sharing site Imgur.  Her user-name is krissykross, and she’s hoping to help others in a similar situation to break free from the cycle of abuse.

Krissykross shared text messages from her ex-husband to show his tactics of abuse.

The following images aren’t for the faint of hearts.

Text Message From Abusive Husband

Krissykross writes, “This is a good example of strings of texts I would get at work while on shift (I am not allowed my phone on the clock.)”

Text Message From Abusive Husband

She continues with an example of Adam’s sexual accusations. “Tony was a coworker. I knew when he clocked off because it was when I was clocking on. Fella helped me change my tire one time and I was suddenly banging him (apparently.),” Krissykross commented.

Text Message From Abusive Husband

On a trip with some girlfriends to celebrate her birthday, Adam accused Krissykross of sleeping somewhere else than where she said she would.

“I stayed the night with a female friend from work. He knew because he “set traps” for me,” commented Krissykross.

Text Message From Abusive Husband

Krissykross says she was physically harmed, “I visit my mother one every couple years. I had a huge bruise on my arm from where my husband had bit me, leaving visible teeth marks. The bruise was so bad it hung around for almost a month. Long enough for a visit to my mothers and to still be photographed by NCIS when I finally turned him several weeks later.”

Text Message From Abusive Husband

Text Message From Abusive Husband

As for the midnight thing, I had to call him at midnight every night I was with my mother. Assuming it was because he wanted to make sure I wasn’t out being drunk and doing nefarious things during the evening.

My ex-husband was a kind, loving man. That is, until I lost weight (at 5’3″ and over 200lbs, it was sort of necessary.) I then got a job. Suddenly I was cheating, I lost weight to get men, I couldn’t buy clothes that fit me after the 80 pounds lost because it showed off my body.

He hit me and sexually assaulted me. He waited outside my work for whole shifts, not telling me if he was carrying the Beretta M9 he had purchased recently. I wanted to go out with two (female) coworkers for my 23rd birthday. I told him weeks in advance and when the time came he punched me in the face and slammed my head into the floor, only leaving me alone because he had duty that evening. I tried to go to the police in the middle of the night, he tailgated me the whole way. I tried to talk to his parents and they told me it was normal in a young marriage and I should reassure him. His father is a pastor in Tennessee and holds this belief.

I finally got the guts to leave when he hurt my dog and kitten. While he was at work I packed a bag, my pets, and their food and hid at a coworker’s house and called NCIS and the police. I spent hours getting bruises photographed, giving my statement, waiting while they put him on restriction. I saw him only a handful of times after, all in court. 3 court dates to get a PO approved, the divorce hearing where he told me if I dropped the charges he’d support me financially, and the two military court dates.

He was charged with a handful of misdemeanors and two felonies. I accepted his guilty plea bargain for 8 months in the Miramar brig on the condition that the felony charges be dropped. The judge wanted to give him 10. I still had to listen to several people testify how great of a person he was- a whole group on his side while I sat there with one friend and my lawyer.

3 years later and I’m actually doing great. I have my own place, a decent job, my pets are doing very well. My credit is shit from the divorce but really, I’m in decent company in that. This isn’t really a sob story; I’m really proud of what I’ve done on my own. I just wanted to share for possibly some closure since I never really got that. Strangers on the internet are better than keeping it inside for so long. And if you hate my story I just lose some fake points anyway. I save these text messages to remind myself how far I’ve come, not to cry over. I’m still terrible in relationships but…

via Daily Prompt: Compromise


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